Dill-icious
by OneWhoTurns
Summary: [#Fictober19 Prompt: 9. "There is a certain taste to it."] Alex has lunch. Not at all a suspicious summary. {post-Island good times} (apologies for the pun)


_Notes:_ _This is a continuation of a hc I hold for Alex, which is just- SUCH a weird palate. So. Food mentions incoming._

* * *

Jonas's hands still in the midst of pulling his sandwich from the plastic bag that serves as his lunch carrier. "What… what is that?"

"Hm?" Alex is too cheery, fingers wiggling as she carefully plucks another jar from her perfectly straightened lunch box.

"Why…"

She pops the lid of the jar, shooting him a sunny smile. "What?"

"Why do you…"

But then things are coming together. In a kind of… weird way.

He watches with morbid fascination as she slathers a single pickle chip in peanut butter. And eats it. Like this is normal. A normal thing to bring to school for lunch. One side of his lip lifts in vaguely disgusted confusion.

When Ren catches sight of Jonas's expression, he just about dies laughing. "Your _face _ohmigod Jonas-" he practically wheezes. "It's like— I can't believe-"

Jonas feels his cheeks heating a little and shoots Ren an irritated glare. "What about my face?"

Ren snorts. "No, no— it's cute, you have a cute face, it's just-" he _snrk_s again. "It's like— Don't you live together? Haven't you seen this?"

"I mean— not this. No." He's seen some weird combos from her before, though. Fries in a milkshake. Kettle chips in ranch. But those felt at least somewhat reasonable. Hell, if it had been on a sandwich it might not have felt as weird (lies, it still would have felt wrong), but just seeing her eat straight up pickles coated in peanut butter? It's weird.

Alex is happily crunching - except not crunching? the texture must be so weird - as she smiles a closed-mouth smile at him, and makes no move to defend herself, finishing up another pickle chip.

"Oh yeah, she's the worst. Used to make bank off of food dares, though. Especially condiments. Ketchup on an apple? She'd try it."

"Still like my apples in ranch," she adds casually, preparing another offense against God.

"That's— that's just not right," Jonas mumbles, shaking his head. But, to be fair, she does kinda like ranch on everything. He's surprised they're not getting a new bottle every week. At this point he doesn't bother trying to determine what the ranch is covering, and now he's kind of glad for that. "But— but I made you a sandwich the other day and you liked it!"

"Aw, you made her lunch?"

Jonas is heating up again from the ribbing, and kicks Ren's shin under the table. "Shut up, I was being nice."

"You were giving me the heel of the loaf, don't think I didn't notice."

His eyes skirt away from her smirk. "Not particularly grateful, are you," he grumbles testily.

She ignores him. "But no— I'm not, like, _anti-_sammich. I just… I have an adventurous palate."

Ren picks up on the lift of her nose, mockingly erudite. "Ah yes, quite," he drawls, all nasal and pompous. "There_ is _a certain taste to it. Mayonnaise on a muffin, perhaps. Or jam on beef jerky?"

"Are you— you're not shitting me." They could be. He's never entirely sure with Alex, though Ren is usually easier to crack. "You actually like that stuff?"

"Tangy salty sweet and _oooooh mami_. Full on flavor profile, my dude."

"Don't forget spicy."

Alex nods sagely to her best friend, "Ah yes, spice. Can't go wrong with grapes and hot sauce."

That just— it's too much.

"Yes! Yes, you _can _go wrong with— Are you even listening to what you're saying?!" He is in distress. Full on distress. He's practically pleading for the words to go back into her mouth, but instead it's just more peanut butter pickles. He grabs at the edges of his beanie, pulling down hard in anguish. "Ergh- I can't believe— You're a monster! A complete monster." His head is in his hands.

"Awww, it's okay Jojo. You get used to it." Ren pats his arm placatingly.

Jonas lets out another groan into the table.

* * *

_Notes:_ _Of course, as always, thanks for reading! Feel free to drop thoughts/questions/concerns/elaborations - PLEASE PLEASE give me more weird food combos for Alex. I'm open to anything. She's open to anything. xD_


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